I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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