Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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