And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
