all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
