dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize