Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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