My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
