They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Duck Duck Cougar?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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