where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
only if we run a train.
done.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
