trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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