the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
