Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
