Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
dude. I can hear the air.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
