last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
