ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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