i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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