some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Is it penis luge time yet?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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