either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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