he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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