I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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