I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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