non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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