lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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