dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
