My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Randomize
