i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Randomize
