When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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