Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
handjob tips. give me some.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
