did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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