he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
