It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
