i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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