I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
