u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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