Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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