actually, I'm a sock model
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize