Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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