Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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