Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
