You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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