if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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