What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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