After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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