She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I look better un-naked...
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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