Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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