Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
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If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
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the liver wants what the liver wants
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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