Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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