..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
