My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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