question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
