Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
