I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize