cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
