Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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