I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
just tell him i said nine months
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
