hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
